| Wu-tang clan aint nuttin ta fuck wit. |
[22 Nov 2004|01:36pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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Bright Eyes- "Let's not shit ourselves" |
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I keep not going to class only to come home and watch TV. What a waiste. I bullshat an eglish paper, but I think I'll do okay on it. I conducted a successful Eagle project yesterday, so I'm a lot calmer than I have been. I'm not to excited about Christmas because I didn't ask for much and I already got my big present. I am, however, excited for my birthday because it means I can do whatever the fuck I want, which I can pretty much what I do now. The semester is almost over, but it looks like i'll be working at RTT for the holidays, so that doesn't mean much of a break. I put too much on myself. Yesterday we had band practice. We're amazing, but I think Kevin may not be all about it. We should maybe be a bit heavier. I question my lyrical skills as well. Whatev, it's fun. My legs and feet itch, I hope I don't have athleats leg!!
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[16 Nov 2004|02:47pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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music |
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As I Lay Dying- Track 3 (I hate them but that songs catchy) |
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I got really sick camping this weekend and threw up for a long time. I'm going to wash the puke out of my sleeping bag in a few. I think a tent is the worst place to spew. I guess I didn't miss much while I was gone. My parents surprised me with new tires, hot white walls. Though my Mom suspiciously saying "Don't take your keys with you" was a bit of a giveaway. I got a youth appreciation award with 8 other "outstanding young people" at a dinner last night. It was cool, but I was pretty much the only person there that wasn't going to Harvard or some shit. Nicole and Chuck went. The food sucked. I like the holidays because it means more tips at work. I'm excited to shop for gifts but I don't know what to buy people. I'm sure I'll pull through. I left work early to do homework, so I'll do that now.
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| I can't stop this monster I've created. |
[12 Nov 2004|02:44pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Cursive- "Gentleman caller" |
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I'm really excited because I got a record player. Now all I need are some records. It's from 1979. I went to Bouncing Souls last night and it reminded me why they were my favorite band for 2 years. They're really fun. I haven't been to many of my classes this week. I'm lazy. I'm camping this weekend and it will be cold and wet. Can't wait.
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| Wrap your arms around me, I'm fucking freezing! |
[07 Nov 2004|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
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music |
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Luddite Clone-"Bottom king" |
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This weekend was rockin'. We went ice skating on Friday. It was good, but cold. It would have been more fun with a multitude of people. Saturday I went to practice. I'm really excited about this band deal. I think we're really good. Well, I don't know if I am, but I'm told I sound good. Only problem is I can't talk after practice because my voice is dead. I don't think that's supposed to happen. We walked around Towsen later, which I don't really get tired of. Walking brightens my day. Work today was fruitful with tips. We have to do a project in English about something in Baltimore. How broad. I was going to do John Waters, but now I think I'm going to do The City Paper. It seems easier. I don't know if I'm going to register for spring yet. College is overrated. Especially if you already have a career. I wonder if I'll groom forever. The show last Wednesday was great even though we missed Zao. It was worth it to see my Best F get Eagle. My new hoodie is arousing.
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[31 Oct 2004|10:27pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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Zao- "A fall farewell" |
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Saw was amazingly scary. It was also good. If anyone tries to tell you the ending, punch them in the face before they finish.I have to return to school and work tomorrow. It's kind of a bummer, but I was getting to lazy. We trick-or-treated for a bit tonight in Nicoles neck-o-the-woods. Some guy gave us change and said he was getting shipped out to Iraq. I felt bad for him. Nicoles party last night was off the chain. I was John Bender from The Breakfast Club. My costume was pretty good, I think. Anyone who knew the movie knew who I was and said I looked good. I thought I looked stupid, but I liked my costume. Drew's Eagle Dinner and the Zao show are Wednesday. Thankfully it wokrs out that I am able to attend both. I was about to sell my ticket.
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[27 Oct 2004|01:32pm] |
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mood |
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 Tu-pox |
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music |
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Requiem Soundtrack |
] |
I am convinced that bad things happen to good people and great things happen to horrible people. I have the damn chicken pox. What a great time for it, too. I'll probably miss Halloween, and Nicole's party, and maybe even the show next Wednesday. At least I've had my Nicole to keep me company, but I feel like I'm waisting her time, and that she doesn't want to be her. I should use this time off to do thing's I've been putting off, but I probably wont. I'm obviously going to miss a lot of work and school. Whatever. I think I get depressed in the summer and happy in the winter, but shouldn't it be the other way around? Nicole's homecoming on Saturday was actually a lot of fun. I guess since I don't go there anymore, it feels different somehow. Drew and I karaoke'd to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and rocked the mothafucking house. People gathered 'round and clapped and stuff. It was cool. Then we were upstaged by the most flamboyant gay person alive. A lot of stupid kids came up to Drew and I when we were done. I bumped'n'grinded on that kid joe that everyone loves with my bare ass. Teachers saw me. I hope I don't get a detention. ; ) I had to cancel my Eagle project because of the rain, which is cool becaue I wasn't that prepared. I can move today, so that's good. By move I mean like walk and stuff. I itch. I guess this is punishment for giving homeless people food and returning peoples wallets and purses. Maybe if I start robbing people and destroying property and doing lots of drugs God will shower me with glory. My band rocks.
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| Diarrhea cha cha cha |
[22 Oct 2004|12:26pm] |
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mood |
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 again |
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music |
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Converge- "Concubine" |
] |
I'm not all anti-drugs like I used to be, but it seems like all anyone wants to do when someones parents aren't home is smoke. I just think there are a lot of better things to do. Chase' birthday was yesterday. I'm getting his present today. I left school because I had diarrhea. I think the best feeling, school wise, is thinking you did really bad on an assignment, then getting it back with a good grade on it. I put up flyer's for my project the past couple of days. I think a few people will show, which is good, because if a lot did it would be too much. It's this Sunday at Parkville Rec./ Senior center. It's a bike safety class for kids. Tell all your friends.... under the age of 10. I've been meeting new people at college, which I didn't plan on doing, but it's cool. I have to miss Nicole in the parade tomorrow, which sucks, but then we get to get all dolled up for homecoming. I still don't know or care what I'm wearing. I use the word "which" a lot, which is cool.
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[19 Oct 2004|10:23pm] |
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music |
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December- "1 of 2" |
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I think the worst feeling is burning the roof of your mouth. I got to cut hair on a dog at work today. It was fun. Eric might be getting a job there. That would make it a much better working environment I think. It's so tense. All I want to do is sweep hair and sing classic rock on songs that are on the radio. I started the review, and it's not as easy as I thought. I think it's because I'm too hard on my own work. It's only the rough copy anyway. My Eagle project is coming together nicely. I'm feeling less rushed. I don't know what i'm wearing to Nicoles homecoming, but I don't care too much either. I think I'm going to senior week this year, even though I don't think it's all it's cut out to be. I don't know what to ask for for Christmas. I need to buy some CD's. I need a little spice in my life. I've been listening to a lot of mellower stuff lately, but I still keep a variety. I want to buy some old rap. I think I've said all this in a previous journal.
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[17 Oct 2004|12:11am] |
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music |
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Public Enemy- "Security of the first world" |
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I love my job. A dog was bleeding today. Come to find out the owner knew it was bleeding when it came in, but didn't tell us. What the Hell? That's got nothing to do with me loving my job, but I do love it. I want digital cable. It seems like it could be endlessly entertaining. I'm going to paint my car when I start making groomer money. Missing 2 weeks of Math was a bad idea. I have a lot to make up. I don't worry about school too much, though. There's some two hour walk-through haunted thing that I really want to go to, but I have to find time. I'm going to Parkvilles Homecoming dance. I guess it will be cool to see all the people that I hate that still go there. Drew and I are going to sing karaoke. One of the spirit days at Parkville is black day. You have to dress gothy and the winner gets a Hot Topic gift card. Does anyone else see something wrong with this? If I were a big ICP fan, this would be an outrage. Did you know that if you work at Hollister you can't where any black at all? They also don't sell anything with black in it. Dillon told me that.
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| Lifless happy ending MTV late night. |
[14 Oct 2004|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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Death Cab for Cutie- "Passenger seat" |
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I found myself watching Laguna Beach on MTV last night. What a poor representaion of high school life. I don't think I've ever seen a more stereotypical group of kids since 90210. Whats worse? These are actual kids who actually act this way. "My Mom got me a 2003 BMW, I wanted a 2004. My life is ruined." I just hate how MTV tries to play it off like that's how kids are. I've never known anyone who acted like that, but if I did, I'd probably poison them. I'm sure someone who was really from Laguna Beach would tell you the same thing. I got T.H.U.G. 2 and beat normal mode in two days. That's a sad fact, either for me or the game. It depends on how you look at it. The game is good, though. Nicole's been sick, and I could catch the Chicken Pox from what she has, even though she doesn't have the Chicken Pox. I can't afford to be that sick for that long, so I've had to stay away from her. It sucks, and I miss her, but I've been keeping myself occupied. I'm going to go over there later because she's supposively no longer contagious. My Eagle Project is fast approaching. I'm really nervous and really stressed about it, but I think it will be moderatley successful. We have to and album review for English 101. I think I'm going to do Bright Eyes, I just don't know which album or which song to present. Tough choice. Maybe I'll so another artist, I have no idea. I heart life.
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| The speed limit is not to be followed to closely. |
[08 Oct 2004|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Alkaline Trio- "Araura" |
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The people that were in front of me on Edgewood on the way home were going like twenty. What the Hell? Speilberg is making a movie out of H.G. Wells' "The War of the Worlds," and for some reason he decided that the trailor should be shot like 3 minutes away from my house. Alien invasion? I'm thinking Baltimore suburbs. We saw Mewithoutyou at Record and Tape today. They didn't play any old songs, which meant they didn't play any songs i knew, but they were still good. I talkes to Jim about working there part time in early winter.
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| I'm getting three D's and an F, So it's not that bad. |
[06 Oct 2004|08:40am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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The Good Life- "Notes in his pocket" |
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I got a D on my first college exam. I'm not stupid, and the material isn't hard. It's like I said, I'm not trying. My room is getting cold at nigh now. That's my personal confirmation of a season change. I like that Fall is here, but its getting darker earlier. It's hard to get out of bed when the sky says " It's only 3Am, close your eyes again." But my clock says " It's 6:20, get the fuck up." Its not as hard as it used to be to get up, though. I don't mind my job or school. It was quite easy to get out of bed today since I got a proper amount of sleep for the first time since late summer. Mewithoutyou at Record and Tape is Friday. I'm more interested to see the tun out than the band. I'm probably going to work there like three days a week late December through January, after school and all. I miss it there a lot. I'm not going to grooming school until February. I have to wait a lot longer than I would have liked, but the wait is well worth it. I can't decide if I want to stay in DC while I'm at school, or drive back and forth everyday. I'll probably drive everyday, because I wouldn't know what to do in DC, and I'd be way to insecure away from everything for a month.
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| I can't breathe with these words in my mouth, but i'm not going to say them. I made that mistake be4 |
[03 Oct 2004|11:18pm] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
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music |
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Coalesce- "Chain smoking" |
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I can't make any decision on my own without effecting someone negatively. The level of stupidity that these stupid feuds have escalated to is ridiculous. Everyone is talking about someone. I can't believe I'm even writing about it. Chase got head at the mall... a bloody brides head!!! It didn't provide as much entertainment as I had hoped. That was totally like 4 days ago, I'm a little late. Tony Hawk Underground 2 comes out this weekend, and I'm ashamed of how excited I am. Little things delight me. I worked 14 hours yesterday and did 20 dogs, but I got $30 in tips and I would rather make money that sit around. I don't even care that I'm the only person that works anymore. I'm not missing much. I'm really excited about grooming, and Halloween. My costume rocks, but no one can know what it is until Halloween. it's not even worth keeping a secret probably, but I think it's a damn good costume. I don't even know what I'm going to do for Halloween. We watched Boston Beatdown at Nicks. It was kind of stupid and barbaric, but it made me want to fight someone. That's how mature I am. Fighting's "gay," just like the sun and birds.
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| Autumn came. |
[29 Sep 2004|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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Johnny Cash- "I've been everywhere" |
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Our kitchen is getting redone, so we don't have one at the moment. The result has been in increase in fast food and ordering out. I find myself daydreaming a lot in school. I guess I'm still doing good, but i'm not all there usually. I've gotten used to my strenuous schedule, not to say that I like it. Monday was a year since Mike died. That was the first day I had talked to him since about a year before. How ironic. I read an essay for english that I liked a lot. It was about a guy who went to cemeteries and studied the headstones and what they said. It was really inspiring. It inspired me to write a shitty song. People tell me they like what i write, but I always think they're just being nice.
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[25 Sep 2004|04:46pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Bright Eyes- " The calender hung itself" |
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Mashed potatoes on an empty stomach? That's a one way ticket to Tummyachesville. I think that having feelings, showing signs of personality, and socializing have been etched off the sacred List of Things That are Cool. The second final Farewell Hope show was good, but saddening. They were pretty much the only local band I liked, besides Blame Jamie of course (OMG). I'm really getting sick of hearing about the whole Nick vs. Matt shit. Lay it to rest for Christ sake. I'm staying out of it. I'm exhausting myself with work and school, and I put all my school work off til the last minute. My priorities are totally fucked up. Sometimes I get the sense that the things I write in hear become really redundant. I guess my life is just that way, too. I'm such a sucker for people in parking lots telling sob stories with the punchline being that they need money. I usually give in, only to find out that they're there every other day. I guess my generosity gets the best of me. I guess if they need it, they can be grateful, and if they don't, they have to deal with the fact they suckered someone out of their dollar fifty by playing on their emotions. Unless they have no concience, then I hope those bitches get run over.
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[22 Sep 2004|02:03pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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Zao- "At Zero" |
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Diet break!! Damn Taco Bell and their treats of sin. It's Jen Ran's fault. I was not in class more than I was today. I slept at home through half of English. My car wouldn't start at Dunkin' Donuts, so I managed to be there only for the last 10 minutes of class. Dunkin' donuts has shitty lattes, and shitty coffee in general. I got home yesterday and there was a wall and half a kitchen missing. We wont have food for two weeks and I only have enough money to buy food for two days. The ladies of PetsMart grooming are becoming all too catty for my taste. Fuck dem bitches son. I still heart my job, just not the people there. Whenever I wear a hat my hair gets floopty whoop's. I saw an old picture of me from a few months after Nicole and I got together. I was thinner. I've let myself go. I guess if Nicole digs having something to hold on to, I have nothing to worry about. I'm not sure why anyone cares who calls Nick "friend". What a trivial thing to get hung up over.
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[20 Sep 2004|09:38pm] |
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It's hard to be taken seriously when you have the hick ups. I totally am going to fail college. I didn't even attempst to do my Philos. paper. My schedule so agonizing. Work or school everyday. It's all good, brotha gotta live and learn. This autumn weather gets me all hot and bothered.
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[17 Sep 2004|01:57pm] |
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mood |
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somber |
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music |
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Slayer- Angel of death |
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Skipping rocks is probably the best thing I've done in awhile. I don't know if that's bad or not. I'm content with that idea, but I wish there was something more. Some people I know are home if they aren't at school or work. I couldn't take it, but if I was home more, I'd probably do my homework. That is if i didn't cave to the depression and impale myself a table leg. I'm doing two things right now that make me feel like shit : being inside on a rainy day and eating leftovers. Mewithoutyou is playing at my old store, which makes me sob. I miss it so much, but I probably would've gotten fired or something by now anyway. If Converge is sold out, someones dying. probably someone with a ticket. Actually I don't care that much. I like Converge and Cave-In, but I'm rather sick of shows. They either infuriate me or make me feel worse about myself. I show weakness way too often. I feel bad that everyones so fucking mean to Nick. There was no point in me saying that, besides to get snide comments about how "gay" Nick is.
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[13 Sep 2004|02:07pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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music |
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Anti-flag - 9/11 for peace |
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I don't know why it is that whenever I have free time, I fill it with my friends. theres nothing wrong with that, but i have other things I should be doing rather than sitting in my room playing vidoe games or walking around Towsen. I guess my philosophy in times like these is something along the lines of "Life's too short." But when you've been putting off making a five minute phone call for a month for doing things like typing a journal instead, there's a problem. as I type right now I'm telling myself I'll make the call tomorrow. Golly.
I worry way too much when I meet new people, I should mellow out more nad be myself. The people who know me seem to like that, I guess. But I still don't know what to say or where to keep my hands or weather to burp or curse. My life is a constant worry and is strewn with nevousness and complaints. How the fuck to people deal with me?
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[12 Sep 2004|12:11am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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Coalesce- Cowards.com |
] |
The joy I get from simply purchasing a new item; clothing, furnitrue, whatever makes me feel ever so materialistic. I got a new old desk and coffee table from goodwill today, and it made me way happier than I think conjoined slabs of wood should make anyone. Dissembling the desk was complicated and hard, and we totally broke in like 8 places. Oh, and Fh's last show was a di fucking saster. I'm gklad it's rescheduled because they deserve an honerable discharge(?). We weren't at somones house all night, which is cool with me. My mom hates my heathen soul.
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off_your_horse's journal